characterized by assumption of dignity or importance

So I have this friend who accuses me of being pretentious. He's wrong, of course. What he considers pretentious is just right-headedness. But anyway. It got me thinking about the things that I do tend to be a bit picky or snobbish about. And here's what I've come up with.

Grammar & Usage--being an editor will do that to you, as will living in a state (or, fine, country) where people routinely cripple, maim, and strangle the English language before leaving it dead in a ditch somewhere.

Recycling--around here, wanting to recycle and conserve somehow labels you as a hippie snob (and possible Democrat who slaughters babies for fun) right off the bat. Which I think is absolutely unfair to assume. You'd think that people wanting to conserve our natural resources would also be in favor of conserving babies. But there's just no reasoning with some people.

Movies--I used to watch pretty much anything that wasn't rated R. Only then I think I sat through one stupid movie too many, and I realized that these were hours of my life I couldn't get back. So yes, I still love movies, but I absolutely will ditch out if people are going to see a movie that got awful reviews. I don't care how "fun" or "cute" or "Mormon" it is. I haven't even gone to see the Fantastic 4 sequel, even though my fiance is the leading actor. That's how snobby I am.

Fast food--Yes, I realize that I went to Wendy's last night and got a hamburger because I was heading out dancing and it sounded like a good idea. Only I wouldn't have had to if the stupid grocery stores didn't keep giving me yams labeled as sweet potatoes yet again, thereby ruining the nice dinner I had planned for myself and leaving me open to fast-food temptation! (breathe . . . breathe . . .) Anyway. I've started thinking more about what I eat and the whole "garbage in, garbage out" principle. And the "eat nothing but chemicals, get an extra hand stump growing out of your torso" principle. I expect I'll become a fruitarian next.

Thread-count--I blame Mistress of Mayhem for this one. I stayed at her house a couple years ago and became acquainted with the glory that is extra-soft Egyptian cotton. It has spoiled me forever and I just can't go back to sleeping on polyester-blend potato sacks like I could do back when I was a college freshman and cheaper equaled better. Plus, I figure if I can't have a hot man next to me in bed I can at least have nice sheets under me.

Standing ovations--I'm sure I've documented my feelings quite enough on this blog, so I won't get into it.

Wedding invitation etiquette--Especially with regards to registry info. Feelings already documented.

Milk--This is not official yet, but I'm probably on my way to becoming a milk snob, since I've just started getting milk delivered from a dairy. Yay! These are all the reasons why I'm excited:

1. It's almost the exact same price as what's in the stores.
2. The dairy is local, so it's good for the environment (less shipping, reusable bottles) and good for the local economy.
3. This milk doesn't have all the additives and hormones, and it gets to me when it's about 48 hours old.
4. They bring it to my door, which is convenient for me but also lets me imagine that I'm living in a simpler, happier time of milkmen and darling milk bottles on your front porch.

So, bring on the snobby, I say. I'm sure there are some I've forgotten, but does anyone else want to share? What are your big pretensions?


Miss Hass said... [reply]

Shoes--After too many blisters I no longer buy cheap or uncomfortable shoes.

Plastic wrap--Only Glad Press and Seal for me. It's amazing.

Frozen vegetables--Turns out if the vegetables are high quality, I actually eat them.

Ice cream--No cheap ice cream full of food coloring and fake chocolate.

I'm sure there are more, but I'm making myself sound more snobby than I should.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hass, I totally should have put that about the veggies. There are so many vegetables growing up that I hated--turns out I only hated the nasty canned versions.

Jenny said... [reply]

I don't think that making good choices should boil down to being snobby. It should mean that we are conservative. Or thoughtful. Or something. Also, bras and chocolate. You should totally be selective about those too.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Jen, I forgot to put the chocolate in there. But bras . . . I get mine from Costo, if we're being honest. I spend the bra money on chocolate instead, which is something that, you know, actually enhances the quality of my life.

Jimmy said... [reply]

I'm with Miss Hass on the shoes. One thing that has to be a name-brand.

Occasionally I like wine, but I'm kind of a reverse-snob when it comes to that. High price does not necessarily equate to better wine.

Meats- when I absolutely have options, I prefer to get USDA Prime over Choice, which unfortunately means more money. But worth the extra cash.

I'm 100% in agreement with you on movies. So much so that I almost gave you a standing ovation for writing that.

And, yeah, I still don't see chocolate on a certain list >:O

Nemesis said... [reply]

Jimmy, I don't drink, but if I did I'm pretty certain I would be a wine snob. I would go to wine and cheese events and would probably geek out over things like pairing wine with my food. So the world is probably better off with me as a non-drinker. :-)

Also, I'm sorry! Am putting chocolate on list now.

[meekly goes away to do just that]

Scully said... [reply]

I realized this summer I am only a snob when I have the emotional wherewithal to be one. This summer, haven't had that so a handful of Costco choc. chips works. But I still mentally correct people's grammar when they are speaking in church. ADVERBS people!

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

Orange Juice--My hubby has started buying Tropicana and it is SOOO good. I don't know if we'll be able to go backe to concentrate

Cooking from scratch--we enjoy doing this together anyway, but I can hardly even use pre-packaged products any more.

Sucking tight or sloppy church clothes

I have to ditto chocolate, frozen veggies, standing ovations (but I think people SHOULD dress up for the theatre) and whoever said bras.

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

Misspelling. Especially of simple words like "back."

Natalie said... [reply]

Toilet paper - must be Charmin Blue, and it has to be a waterfall, not an undertow.

And, I won't shop at Wal-Mart, but not because I am a snob. I just prefer locally owned businesses that sell high quality, (preferably) American made products and pay a living wage. Also, the Walton family is actively working against public education. So, they suck...

Lady Steed said... [reply]

Wal-Mart. It's an evil place.
(high five to Nat)

Dark chocolate only please.

I wish I could be snobby about more things but I am still poor. For example, I would love to get all my produce from local farmers markets but dang, their prices are steep!
For example:
Organic, locally grown grapes
market: 2.50/lb
safeway: 0.77/lb

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

I posted pet peeves earlier this week and Wal-Mart was at the top of the list . . . or somewhere in the middle. It wasn't really in order.

Th. said... [reply]


----in other news----

Fast Food Nation, sweetheart. But don't worry: we've forgiven you.

(I forget what the other one was (Faster by James Gleick?), so I can't fairly assure you of forgiveness there.)

Th. said... [reply]


Back on topic, isn't this

So I have this friend who accuses me of being pretentious. He's wrong, of course. What he considers pretentious is just right-headedness. But anyway. It got me thinking about the things that I do tend to be a bit picky or snobbish about. And here's what I've come up with.

your blog's entire raison d'ĂȘtre?

Th. said... [reply]


(and good for you, by the way)

Eva said... [reply]

chocolate-- no American chocolate

TexMex food outside the Southwest-- wrong on so many levels

Stupid movies and television shows-- I haven't had a TV in three years and I don't miss it one bit

Shoes-- Italian stilettos, please

Inauthentic ethnic cooking-- *shudder*

bras-- custom made

and most importantly: MEN

kristen said... [reply]

I shop at Walmart....all about getting toiletries for cheap.

Bras: have to be Victoria's Secret-- they support so much better than most out there.

leather interior cars

Clinique/Mary Kay makeup (at least for base, powder, and blush)

Absolutely NO generic soda

And I find myself correcting people's grammar....which I'm sure they love.

Natalie said... [reply]

I forgot my biggest area of snobbery. I refuse to allow my children to wear shoes with people/animals on them. No lights, either.

Th. said... [reply]



Faster, yes. Fast Food Nation, no.

The other book was The Undertaking by Thomas Lynch and it's still awesome.

Except--you know--for the water damage.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Okay, Th. I feel really bad. Can I please replace those books? I don't know why I didn't do that in the first place, except I know you've got all those notes in the margin.

Kristeee said... [reply]

Movies - Napoleon Dynamite was the kicker for me. I sat there afterwards, feeling for the first time that I had wasted precious brain cells and wanted those hours back.

Chocolate - living in Austria made me a serious chocolate snob. Lindt is my favorite (Target has it and Borders & Macey's both have the little balls - try them!), with Milka and Toblerone (ooh, and Ritter Sport) close behind.

Pianos - anyone who's played on a Boesendorfer for a while would understand.

Use of turn signals - I am in the class of people who uses them. Others, I'm afraid, are "without".

Musical numbers in church - Sadly, not all musical numbers are created equal and some are left better unperformed.

Lady J said... [reply]

Buying local produce where possible, fairtrade cocoa and bananas and outdoor reared, free-range eggs and meat. I'd rather eat a happy chicken and not be responsible for ripping off struggling farmers wherever they live.

FoxyJ said... [reply]

I've become snobby about kids' toys, but I don't let anyone know for fear of offending them. But I really, really hate it when people buy my kids cheap dollar store crap that breaks the next day.

I'm also snobby about food somewhat, but I'm also poor so that doesn't help. I'm big on cooking everything from scratch and not using lots of processed products.

Joe & Jeri said... [reply]

I used to be a milk snob and I loved it for all the reasons you stated. Then the prices went way WAY up ($3.50 for a half-gallon if you didn't order lots of other things to be delivered at the same time). Now we're back to the milk of mortals and it makes me sad.

I'm snobby about my kids shoes. They must be new and nice. Used shoes are broken in to someone else's foot and cheap ones are stiff and not comfy.

Cooking from scratch and NO artificial sweeteners. I think they will kill you.

Th. said... [reply]


Nah, don't worry about it. Although if your guilt won't prevent you from buying us something, you could always surprise us.

And while we're on a related subject, I ought to thank you---you lent us several of my all-time faves like Possession and Ex Libris. So we're probably already even anyway.

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