Because purple-faced is the new sexy

Am actually quite excited to hit the gym tonight. I started back up last week and it is doing very good things for my mental state. I find that in those first 48 hours after some cardio, I am less likely to start with the voodoo curses and the body-checking and car-running-over of old slow women who just won't get out of the way. Which is a good thing, I feel.

I also really like my gym. It was about time to get back there, since they'd actually moved locations while we were On A Break and I didn't even realize it. I go to Planet Fitness, which is dead cheap and where you can be thrown out for grunting. Which I think is pretty much awesome. I wish there were more places in the world that would throw people out for obnoxious, "hey, look at me" behavior. I bet people would actually start thinking about what they're doing if at any moment they could be handed a "Yeah . . . Get Out" ticket by some kind of Grand Righteous Hall Monitor.

This gym isn't a meat market, but it's not the rec center either where you have to fight packs of glaring middle-aged women for the right to use one of the 2 available ellipticals. There may be 3 ellipticals, but you can be sure that one of them is always out of order or creaking/shaking/smoking in some suspicious and possibly evil way. My gym has loads and loads of new machines and you never have to wait for one.

Plus I feel comfortable there. People aren't trying to impress each other. So I don't have to feel like I should feel self-conscious about using an old MP3 player instead of an iPod. Or listening to not-cool-at-all booty-shaking music. Or not wearing nice workout clothes, since I understand that you must give tradespeople money in order to acquire such things. I also don't work out in thongs or fake boobs, because I actually like myself.