One step closer to being too pretentious to live

I'm in Salt Lake City today and tomorrow at a library conference. It's called "Turning the Page" and is about library advocacy. Which I'm all for. I'm also all for my sweet hotel bed. And the hydrotherapy pool. And the triangle-shaped powdered-sugar dusted nut brownies in all the hallways. Let us have more of them.

In all the sessions they have trays by the doors stocked with pitchers of ice water and those lovely stemmed water glasses. I've snagged one at every session which means that I have now drunk more water today than in possibly the entire previous week.

Turns out I sip lots more water when it's in a schmancy water glass. Somehow it feels more likely that a tuxedo-wearing Daniel Craig will saunter over to my table and say something cryptic. To which I will raise my eyebrow suggestively and take another sip. And also we would be in France.

(I told my sister Jenny about this fantasy on the phone and she blurted out "And then he could change into a blue Speedo, right????" Because she's dirty like that when it comes to Daniel Craig.)

I really don't think a styrofoam cup would have the power to produce such results. Plus I'd be distracted by the crying baby trees in my head. Nor, I feel, would the drink of my table companion--a hot-pink aluminum can containing Sobe Adrenaline Rush High Performance Energy Drink ("New Face . . . Same Taste"). I honestly think that, given the choice between this and fresh urine, I would have a hard time deciding.