I swear it's like people have a death wish

Here's the thing. Correct me if I'm wrong, but brides are known for being notoriously stressed-out, bad-tempered, emotional, self-centered, and generally within an inch of emotional collapse. We all know this. I think I'm actually doing pretty well on that front, even though there have been a few stressful moments. What I'm curious about is why people would deliberately say things to a bride that have a very high likelihood of setting her off. I'm not talking about little things like, "I'm sorry, this person was here first" or "I'm afraid we don't have that in stock" or "Hey, take a look in the sky, see that bright yellow object? The earth actually revolves around that, chica. Not so much you."

I'm talking about things like, "Oh right, I didn't mention it earlier but there is an additional $750 fee for your luncheon room." Or, "Oh, since you didn't hit the "1-hour processing" button (not that I told you you needed to) your 460 engagement pictures are going to be the wrong size. And there's nothing we can do about it."

These both happened yesterday.

And then they wait, people. They wait and just stand there looking at me as I try to keep my @#$% together. And then, after the waiting where they watch my hair turn silver and my right eye pop out of its socket and roll across the dirty concrete floor, they qualify those statements with words like, "That's the standard fee for the room, but you won't be paying that much. Based on the amount of food you're ordering, and if you're willing to work with me on a few furniture things, we should be able to get it down to nothing." Or, "But you can just re-order your prints, and you won't have to pay for the bad ones."

Seriously, people. If there's a solution, you need to be hauling it out right on the heels of the bad news. As if there are doctors out there who tell their patients "Sorry, you have cancer" and then wait until the next appointment to bring up the quite effective treatment options. I was actually making a call to sic my Dad on the $750 guy. And believe you me. No one wants that.


Cicada said... [reply]

People are so dumb.

But I admit that I love watching My Super Sweet 16 because I like to see the meltdowns. Maybe these people enjoy that just as much and they deliberately try to provoke brides...

Jér said... [reply]

I don't usually have much to do with prospective brides—except to tell them and their entourages to stop hogging the damn stairs or the damn elevators while they're getting their bridal pictures taken, and keep in mind that this is a PUBLIC LIBRARY with PATRONS who occasionally need to use said stairs and said elevators—but as a librarian, when I'm feeling especially ornery, and a patron has been especially ungrateful or otherwise disrespectful, sometimes I tell that patron that whatever impossible thing they have asked for is impossible, and deliberately withhold their other, non-crazy-person options. Because watching them splutter gives me a sick thrill.

Miss Hass said... [reply]

Oh brother, I would have seriously blown a gasket. I have been so, so, so lucky as I've been planning our shin dig. So far. I still have flowers and engagement pictures to deal with though, so...we'll see.

sarahbclark! said... [reply]

that post totally brightened my day! yes, i'm laughing at the expense of someone i don't even know, but the way you worded the whole "earth/sun/bride issue" was probably the funniest thing i've read all week.
and yes, the waiting. they are probably waiting to see if they're dealing with a doormat who will do whatever they say. and then possibly take that $750 check and add it into their commission.

Desmama said... [reply]

That's just lame. I don't know about the photo place, but JH should know better.

coolmom said... [reply]

You know, all you have to do is laugh at loud and then announce, "Your MOM can pay the extra $750 plucky!"

coolmom said... [reply]

editors correction: Laugh out loud!

Jenny said... [reply]

We should nickname Dad something cool and tough sounding. I think that would be awesome. Then we can be like, yeah, well let's see what Killer has to say about that. It would sound better than 'I'm telling my Daddy on you!'

Katie said... [reply]

Try talking to a wholesale florist in Miami from Colorado, 2 days before your event, and telling him the $500 shipment of flowers you just recieved are PURPLE instead of BLUE and having him just say, oh well.

It might cause a mini stroke inside your already addled brain.

Anonymous said... [reply]

I'm seriously thinking of telling my children, "Please, just elope. Only don't tell your mother I said that."

Nemesis said... [reply]

Anon, word. My dad has always encouraged me to elope to Hawaii. Am sure that in the next 6 weeks I'll be wishing I had.

It's funny though, what I have planned is a LOT simpler than most weddings, and yet people still find a way to mess with my head. Le sigh.

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