12.29.2008

There's definitely a market

The Christmas Post is coming, but first I have to address the steaming pit of filth that is my apartment, now that I'm actually back to living in it after all the Christmas travel. Am currently trying this recipe to unclog the bathtub drain because the experience of dry-heaving at the sight of all the backed-up body hair has become wearing unto me.

So here's a little something to hold you over:

A coworker and I were talking this morning about all the unattended children we were seeing run around. One 5-year-old's mom was over the the computer area (which does not offer visual access to the rest of the library) and the little girl kept roaming over to the Children's desk to ask for coloring pages (okay), crayons (okay), scissors (not okay), and princess books (fine).

Me: You know, we should make some sort of bib or smock to stick on kids when we find them wandering around by themselves. Then when their parents bother to catch back up with them they'll find their kids wearing a smock with "Perv Bait" written in big letters across it.

Coworker: Or "I Was Just Touched by a Stranger."

I think I like hers best. We're thinking of getting shirts printed.

12 comments:

Nookleerman said... [reply]

"Ask me about the candy I just ate."

That's the best one I could come up with in a quick brainstorming session. I wanted to do one with a Pied Piper thing, but they all sucked.

Nemesis said... [reply]

Hey, I love yours, Nookleerman. Keep 'em coming, everybody!

Bridget said... [reply]

Do it!!!!! It will teach them a lesson in a hilarious way.

Science Teacher Mommy said... [reply]

"That man said to hold real still and not shout because we were in the library."

Okay, too long for a tee-shirt. But it might be the start of a therapy session.

Audra and Levi said... [reply]

Levi had a good idea that you should print up stickers instead... small, inexpensive, kids will happily stick them on their clothes, and when their parent finds them it could say something like:

"A Stranger Gave me this sticker!"
or
"I talk to strangers!"
or
"Do you know who gave me this?"

Anyway, those could work ;)

lilcis said... [reply]

How about something simple, yet embarrassing:

"My mom doesn't love me enough to care if I get kidnapped & molested"

I think it does a good job of pointing the finger at the person who's really to blame. It's harder for them to turn the blame on you that way.

Lippy said... [reply]

LOL I'll print 'em for you. Glad to see you're still on your game!

chosha said... [reply]

"Lucky to not have been kidnapped"

and

"I wish my parent wouldn't leave me unsupervised"

Joy said... [reply]

Audra and Levi, I love "Do you know who gave me this?"

Sadly, I can't think of any good ones. My favorite Christmas tree farm has a sign that says,"Unattended children will be treated as free labor."

Dasha said... [reply]

This post just makes me feel ever so nostalgic, since I spent the better part of my childhood unsupervised at that very same library. I was scared of the librarians so I was always very quiet and never asked for anything, but one time I did puke all over the floor and a copy of Miss Rumphius. Luckily I was better behaved when I ran into you there the other day.:)

Nells-Bells said... [reply]

"Do you want to touch me? My mom's not around."
That would be a good one.
Love it.

coolmom said... [reply]

I used to frequent a fabric store in NC whose front door sign said.
"Unattended children will be eaten".

Nice one.

I always wanted to turn my five loose in there just for laughs.

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