Doing the Fast Metabolism Diet

02/2016 update: I'm doing the diet again after my 3rd baby (holy cow, I'm so very outnumbered now) so I've made a couple of updates for things I'm doing differently this time around. I'm also sharing my original spreadsheet, so go ahead and make a copy to play around with!

08/2016 update: So . . . I followed FMD faithfully last February for weeks and made absolutely no progress. Which was incredibly frustrating. So then a friend told me about macros and helped me get set up, along with some short workouts I could do from home. Started working immediately and was fabulous. I didn't have to cut lists of foods out of my diet, it was easier to eat out and make room for treats or favorite foods, and I spent less time food prepping and less money on expensive ingredients. And now I don't recommend the Fast Metabolism Diet any more. And that's my story.

So a few of you have expressed interest in checking out the diet/eating plan I used to lose my baby weight. It's  The Fast Metabolism Diet by Haylie Pomroy. I wanted to throw out a bit more information in case it might be useful!

The idea is that you follow this for 4 weeks to get your metabolism back on track, and then keep going for as many more weeks as it takes to reach your goal weight.

Let me get this out of the way first. You can expect to lose between half a pound to a pound a day from the first day you start this. No lie. That is what (usually) gave me the willpower to just stick to the eating plan--knowing that in the morning when I stepped on the scale I will have lost weight.

For each phase there is a master foods list of all the vegetables, grains, fruits, proteins, fats, and condiments that are allowed in each phase, along with the recommended exercise. You use that to pick things you like and plan your menus. The book also gives you portion sizes depending on how much weight you want to lose. If you want to lose more than 20 pounds, your portions actually need to be bigger.

This is what a week looks like:

Phase 1 (Mondays and Tuesdays) Unwind Stress and Calm the Adrenals

High glycemic (fruits and grains), moderate protein, low fat

Grains don't include refined sugars, wheat, or corn. Oatmeal, brown rice and quinoa are fine, as are pastas and breads if they are made with alternative grains. (My mom had to tell me that "sprouted bread" means that Ezekiel bread in the freezer section.)

The point of this phase is to persuade your body that it's no longer in an emergency "fat-storing" situation and to level your blood sugar.

Phase 2 (Wednesdays and Thursdays) Unlock Stored Fat and Build Muscle

High protein, high vegetable, low carbs, low fat (ie, the hard one. But it's just 2 days!)

The point of this phase is to push your metabolism to build muscle and burn fats.

Phase 3 (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) Unleash the Burn

High healthy fat, moderate carbs, moderate protein, low glycemic fruit

This is the phase where you are burning stored fat.

Here is what I ended up eating a lot:

Breakfasts:
Phase 1: Old-fashioned oatmeal w/blueberries and cinnamon (and sometimes some unsweeted applesauce to make it a little sweeter)
Phase 2: Egg white omelets with spinach, mushrooms, and sometimes bell peppers
Phase 3: Nut butter and blueberries on toast or fried egg & tomato on toast

Lunches:
Phase 1: Open faced turkey or roast beef sandwiches or turkey chili (recipe in the book)
Phase 2: Lettuce wraps with roast beef, mushrooms, and peppers inside
Phase 3: Turkey chili w/avocado, lettuce wraps w/deli meat and hummus, or sprouted wheat wraps.

Dinners (modified for each phase): fajitas, spaghetti over zucchini noodles or spaghetti squash, chicken bratwurst, lean hamburgers, shish kabobs, petite sirloin steak, sweet potatoes, burritos with ground beef or turkey and vegetarian re-fried beans, lots and lots of zucchini

Snacks (morning, afternoon, and sometimes evening):
Phase 1: Fruit
Phase 2: Lunch meat dipped in mustard
Phase 3: Celery w/nut butter or veggies w/hummus

So . . . now for the advice stuff.

Planning: Doing this takes a lot of planning. Take some time to read the book, to plan your menus and go grocery shopping and maybe eat any desserts you really wanted to fit in before you cut out sugar.

I created a Google Docs spreadsheet (I love me a Google Docs spreadsheet) with a table for each week. I entered in all the meals and snacks I had planned. Having the whole week planned out made it much easier to stick to the eating plan.

Groceries, Buying of: Eating "clean" the way Pomroy recommends (raw nut butters, nitrate-free meats, sprouted grain breads, tons of vegetables and fruit, etc.) can get expensive. I wasn't familiar with some of these items and ended up spending a lot on groceries. If I'd spent more time looking around and comparing prices, I could have spent less. So maybe do some price-checking at your grocery store, the health food/organic store, Costco/Sam's, maybe even Amazon for non-perishables before you start spending money.

Example: Raw almond butter at my local health food store was $18. Then last Saturday I snuck into Trader Joe's during a SLC trip and saw Trader Joe's brand raw almond butter for $6.99. There's also the option of making it yourself, which requires a food processor and a pound of raw almonds ($6 or less).

One smart thing I did was buy single servings of raw almond butter, raw cashew butter, and raw pecan butter at Natural Grocer. That way I could be sure I liked something before I went out and bought (or made) a 16 oz jar.

Another way to keep the grocery bill in control is to check out your weekly grocery store sales on Grocery Smarts before you plan your week's meals. So you'll know who's having a great sale on steaks or strawberries or bell peppers. I've been taking advantage of BBQ season sales on things like steak, lean hamburger patties, and chicken brats.

Cooking for other people: You don't really need to cook separate dinners for the other people in your family. They can eat the same thing you are eating, but they might add cheese or sour cream or a hamburger bun or flour tortilla, etc. Fact: GH lost about 10 pounds at the same time that I was doing this. He wasn't doing anything different, all we can figure is that it must have come from eating the dinners I was making. Or he has a tapeworm.

Slip-ups: Of course there were days where stuff happened and I just didn't stick to it. And there were days when I couldn't resist a bite of ______. The "just a bite" didn't seem to really affect things too much. And, actually, just a bite was usually really satisfying. But more than that and I'd start feeling gross, and the next morning on  the scale I'd see that I didn't lose anything, or that I'd gained something back.

Eating Out: It's hard when you're not eating at home. It's really hard for me to stick with it when I'm at a restaurant or a party. Once when we had Sunday dinner at my in-law's I ate my meal before I went over. She understood and wasn't offended. But it's so hard for me to be surrounded by dinner rolls and desserts and all this stuff without trying some--and then trying some more. So that's where the willpower has to come in.

Let's see, other things:

Get on Pinterest. There are loads of pins with recipes designated as "Phase 1," "Phase 2," etc. This can help when you're in a meal planning rut.

(2016 update) If you have an iPhone or iPad, download the app. It's $3 and is worth it for the food lists alone, so you don't have to keep going back to the book to see which fruits/veggies/proteins are allowed in each phase.

Stevia is allowed as a sweetener, but I wouldn't bother. That mess is disgusting. Like sweet baby powder straight from a sweaty butt-crack disgusting. (2016 update: I just bought xylitol to try with baking this time around, will see how it goes!)

Mustard is just about the only condiment you can use, so treat yo'self to a kind you like.

If you have a grill, this is the time to use it. I ate shish kabobs at least once a week.

Turning zucchinis into spaghetti noodles? Surprisingly good.

Baked sweet potatoes with cinnamon on them? Tastes like dessert.

Good luck, you will be amazing!

Book group 2014

Have I told y'all about my book group? It's only the best ever. Desmama and I started it back in 2007 and then I mourned its absence in my life after I got married and lived too far away. My sister Jenny did pour into my wounded bosom the balm of sisterly consolation, however. (Translation: she let me join her awesome book group.) I returned the favor during her brief stint in Logan by sending her to mine.

Only then I moved back to Cache Valley (why hello again, Smell of Cows!) and one of the things I was most excited about was getting back together with these ladies. It's such a great group. People have come in and out but this great core is still there. We've got single ladies (aaaand cue Beyonce, wow am I current), married ones, Mormons, not-Mormons, SAHMs, working girls (no, not that kind), liberals, conservatives, and everyone is just lovely. It would be great to find a lesbian and a woman of color to really round us out, but this is Cache Valley. There's only so much to work with.

I hosted in January, because we were supposed to read I am Half-Sick of Shadows during the month of December. And now we know not to do that again. Trying to read a book during the holidays, even a light page-turning Christmas mystery about English people, is just a dumb idea. It was probably my idea, which explains the dumb.

Because I was in charge of the food, I decided to make a cake. I did not choose the cake featured in the book, because when I looked it up I realized that like many other English desserts (bless them) the one the de Luce family ate suffered from some kind of inferiority/rationing complex. "If we add raisins and a pinch of sugar to bread we can call it cake! Lovely!" (No, no you can't.)

I made a pound cake instead. I made it from scratch after choosing the best recipe I could find. I put love into that cake. I wiped down the inside of the pan with butter and Pam. It was to be served with fresh blueberries and cream whipped by me. And here's how it turned out:

Grrrrr.

I texted Jenny to moan about the cake, and she suggested that I take the part that stayed in the pan and, like, glue it to the rest of the cake with frosting.

Here was my response to that:

this was after I ate half the crumbs with my hands because I was just that mad

So much for my cake. The ladies just carried on and ate mangled cake with blueberries and cream, much as an aristocratic English family fallen on hard times would have done (except their cake really would have been just bread.)

We also brought our book ideas for this year. Last year I suggested a spreadsheet voting system (because you know I love me a spreadsheet). I created a Google Drive document with all the suggested titles and a link to the Amazon description/reviews, plus notes about the title's availability. (Some suggestions turn out to be out of print, others have book club sets at local libraries or are really cheap on Kindle.) And, of course, spaces for each member to put an "X" next to the titles they would like to read. People have about a week to decide which books they are most interested in and vote for 11 of them. I count up the votes for each book and the top 11 are our picks. Then people shout out for the month & book they'd like to host (usually this ends up being the person who suggested the title in the first place).

Considering how complicated I made it, I think it's worked out pretty well and we've ended up with a good lineup, last year and this year. Each book has several people who really want to read it. And if a book turns out to be a dud then it's not like one person will feel responsible. A bunch of people will!

Here is what we'll be reading in 2014

1. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen 
2. The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles 
3. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green 
4. How Green Was My Valley by Richard Llewellyn  
5. A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans 
6. My Year with Eleanor: a Memoir by Noelle Hancock 
7. Wonder by R. J. Palacio 
8. Kitchen Counter Cooking School: How a Few Simple Lessons Transformed Nine Culinary Novices into Fearless Home Cooks by Kathleen Flinn  
9. USU Common Literature Experience 2014 pick (they haven't announced it yet) 
10. The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman 
11. Unbroken by Laura Hillebrand

And here are a few suggestions that didn't get enough votes but I'm adding them all to my Goodreads list.

1. The Hundred-foot Journey
2. Tale for the Time Being
3. Life after Life 
4. A Winter's Tale
5. The Homecoming of Samuel Lake
6. Navigating Early
7. Tiny Beautiful Things
8. Lean In
9. Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength

Anybody else want to add what you'll be reading with your group?

I'm going to have to change my angle a little bit

Gentleman Friend and I got engaged. We're getting married in August, which is approximately 6 years from now. (I've become acquainted with Engagement Days, which I think must be similar to Dog Years. Or geological ages.)

So yeah, I'm probably not allowed to tout myself as a bitter spinster anymore. Unless, of course, he leaves me at the altar. At which point it'll be ON, friends. I'm going to cross fingers it doesn't come to that though, phenomenal traffic jumps notwithstanding. I'll have to settle for being a non-Smug Married with an invested interest in Singleton Affairs. And I'll run around smiling coyly and saying things like, "Marriage is just a better way to live" to my single friends. Who will then very rightly shoot me in the face and throw my body off an overpass.

Everything is going swimmingly so far. I am happy and sane and excited. I have a dress, a temple date, and a luncheon venue. My ring is being made (we're redesigning an anniversary band that was my grandmother's). We're not doing a reception, so that's one (or 86) less things to plan. I also have the kick-@$$iest Google Docs planning spreadsheet ever. I could make out with that spreadsheet. I really could.

The dear friends and family who found out first managed to not out me on my blog (much). So thanks to all of you. People have come out of the woodwork offering to help in all manner of ways. All of Gentleman Friend's immense pioneer-stock L**** family has welcomed me very, very generously. I think I liked his grandmother's response best: "You know, there were days when I was so mad at you! I knew 18 months ago you were supposed to get married! So I'm glad it finally worked out like I'd planned."

I also have THIS, which we took just for you. See how dumb this looks, everyone? I hope this will help us all to make better choices. And a better world.

Wedding update

It's still on, so that's good. I figured it might be fun to show what I'm working on, in case anyone's interested.


And even if you're not interested, you're going to sit there and hear about it. Because it is what I eat, sleep, and breathe right now. I couldn't get to sleep last night because I was thinking about whether I could ditch a veil and just have tiny stephanotis flowers or pins in my hair. Opinions, anyone? I think it would be awesome.



So. This is the inspiration for the color scheme (from Waterlily Pond). Y'all know how much I love me some red, but lately I've really been liking how clean the green and whites look together, especially in the summertime. I didn't think I'd find a way to work those three together until I saw this:


Pretty, huh? And not at all Christmassy, which was my worry.

My dress is gorgeous and I love it. Here's a sneak peek. It's being altered now and having sleeves added so I don't subject the world to my hulking Milkmaid Shoulders of Doom. And, you know, so they'll let me into the temple to get married. Little things.


Since no outfit is complete without shiny red shoes, I'm wearing these with my dress.


I'm not having bridesmaids. I just asked the sisters (my two and his three) to wear something pretty & black with kickin' red shoes. So that we may take Red Shoe Pictures together. This is the Shabby Apple dress that Jen & Spitfire are investigating.

And now suddenly I'm feeling like I quite need a black dress too. I'm sure I do.

Since my darling flower friend had to bail (shaking my fist at you, England) I'm actually thinking about one of the local grocery store florists for the bouquet & boutonnière and whatnot. Word on the street is that they do a fine, affordable job as long as you're specific about what you want and don't want. (ie, If I see leather leaf anywhere I will rip it out and make you eat it. Preshaytcha.) So something like these, maybe with red satin ribbon wrapped around the stems.




The Spreadsheet of Destiny (you remember, the one I also want to marry) is through Google Docs. It's so cool--it's online so I can get to it from anywhere, and I send invites to people who need or want to see it or add to it. Also the guest lists and mailing addresses are on there, so I will never again in life lose your address. Exciting, huh?

There. And now I won't make you listen to more of this for at least one week.

Sibling & Family pre-Thanksgiving Extravaganza!

Conversation between me and GH when he caught a whiff of my breath last night:

GH: Wait, are you okay?

Me: What?

GH: Did you throw up?

Me: No, why? Ohhhhhh . . . it's brie. I have brie breath.

Delicious, delicious brie breath . . .

I have three siblings who also live in Utah (the 4th is in Alaska with his family). And this year everyone was scheduled to be spending Thanksgiving with other people. But because we are awesome, we decided to get together on Saturday the 17th for our very own family pre-Thanksgiving Extravaganza. And then we created a Google documents spreadsheet to start working out food assignments, because that's how we roll--awesomely.

Wanna hear what we ate? Yeah you do.


Deviled eggs
Baked brie the size of a frisbee, I kid you not
Turkey
Pioneer Woman mashed potatoes
Gravy
Pioneer Woman sweet potatoes
Gluten-free cornbread stuffing
Stovetop stuffing
Cranberry sauce
Cranberry salad
Rolls
Creamy jalapeno corn
Fizzy cranberry drinks (2 liters Sprite + 1 can frozen cranberry-raspberry juice)

It was amazing. We could barely make a dent into the mountains of food. Then there were the desserts. All these pies were homemade!

Pecan pie
Pumpkin pie
Banana cream pie
Chocolate cream pie
Peach pie
Apple pie
Vanilla ice cream and whipped cream

My favorite was the chocolate cream pie. Except the banana cream pie was so great and also had booze in it. And I had no idea I loved pecan pie so much until I tasted my sister Jenny's version. It's too bad that I'm a fan now, since it's about the nutritional equivalent of eating a Big Mac made of sugar and nuts. But oh well, one slice (or two, if you count breakfast the next morning) a year is okay, right? I also brought home some of the baked brie, which is how the introductory conversation came about.

The creamy jalapeno corn is something I discovered last Thanksgiving, courtesy of GH's cousin's Texan husband. I got the recipe afterwards and brought it to the Extravaganza and and dang is that stuff good. It's not too spicy unless you are including jalapeno seeds in there like some kind of maniac.

Creamy Jalapeno Corn

2 bags frozen corn (I used the 16 oz size)
8 oz (one package) cream cheese, softened
1 stick of butter, softened
Canned, fresh, or frozen jalapenos
Garlic powder
salt and pepper

Heat the cream cheese and butter together in a pot until creamy. Add frozen corn and then panic when things start clumping together. Have faith, and keep stirring until things seem okay again. Add jalapeno to taste (GH's cousin adds juice from the canned jalapenos for extra flavor as well). I had a bag of frozen diced jalapeno in the freezer already, so I just used some of that. Salt, pepper, and garlic to taste. I thought the recipe mentioned Seasoned Salt so I added in some of that too (it didn't though).

And now we get to have another Thanksgiving on Thursday. And I won't even care if none of my favorites are there because I just HAD all my favorites! Hah!! Such decadence! Now I feel a kinship with my Canadian friends who celebrate both the Canadian and the American Thanksgiving like genius people.

What are you bringing to your Thanksgiving dinner?

The second time around

Jenny and I after her birthday pedicure.
She is 22 weeks pregnant, I am 24.

One nice thing about preparing for Baby #2 is that there isn't as much stuff to buy, because you already went through that whole mess once before.

With Baby #1 you're like, "Oh my gosh I need to get an infant carseat and a non-infant carseat and a stroller and a crib and sheets and clothes and all the medicines and shampoos and lotions and ear thermometers and rectal thermometers and two different kinds of nipple pads and also dye-and-fragrance-free laundry detergent and and and and and and and and . . . "

Baby #2? "Enh, I've got a Pack 'n Play and they have diapers down the road at the grocery store. I'm probably good. Now, where did that ice cream go?"

I was straightening up a bit today in the guest room/Baby #2 room this morning. It has become the dumping place for All Things Baby, so I went through the bins and bags and tried to get a handle on things. It was a good time. I found baby clothes and burp clothes that had been packed away years ago with baby vomit and baby boogers still on them. I found the bag with all the accessories belonging to Gator the Breast Pump and my eye started twitching. I found teeny tiny newborn socks and just about died at the cuteness and even though I've seen it it's still hard to believe anyone's feet can be so small.

When I was on Amazon later today I thought I'd be smart and order a few things to save myself from having to remember to buy them at the store later. So I got newborn pacifiers and a bottle brush and a few things like that. Remembered that I'd created a Google spreadsheet before the Tiny Dark Lord was born where I'd made a list of all the things I needed to buy, so I opened it and scanned through to see what I might need replacements of. (Is gripe water still good after 3 years?)

It was kind of fun scanning through the list and remembering what it was like trying to prepare for parenthood, and thinking about some of the adventures I've had with those items. (Rectal thermometer? Still unopened. Nasal bulb aspirator? I went through three of those things and they were all crap. Order the Nosefrida instead, then send me some real or imaginary chocolate as a thank you.)

The real fun happened, though, when I scrolled down and saw my hospital packing list, which I curated very carefully after reading the Internet. Here is what was on it:

iPods w/Hypnobabies scripts, charger
birth ball
toiletries
chapstick
sleep mask
warm socks
birth plan
snacks
brownies for the nurses
swim suit

That's not even a long list but oh, how I laughed. I laugh-ed. Let's take a look, shall we?

iPods w/Hypnobabies scripts, charger: Still happening. In fact, my iPhone is probably the only item that for sure needs to be in my bag.

Birth Ball--may still bring it, just in case I want to bounce on something to speed labor up. Or if I need something to throw at people that won't hurt them but will definitely get their attention. If I want to hurt anyone I'm sure there will be things already in the room that I can use.

Chapstick: Don't know how this warrants its own mention on a list, nor do I remember having any urgent lip balm needs. But I guess if it comes up there will probably be a stick somewhere in the bottom of my makeup bag or in my purse. Or I can just tell a nurse to put some Vaseline on my lips.

Sleep mask: Seriously? Was that for people who share rooms or something? My privilege and I will be in a private room, all Kardashian-style. Or maybe it's for people who can't nap during the day when it's light. Except that's how napping works.

Toiletries--Yes. And this time I hope to actually use the things instead of lying there like an exsanguinated corpse for days and then finally getting enough energy to take my first post-birth shower minutes before the nurses shoved me out the hospital door with wet hair. Cross fingers!

Warm socks--They have them there, and then if you bleed and/or lose bladder control all over them, they can be thrown away. By nurses.

Snacks--Also there at the nurse's station. Pudding packs, I'm coming for you . . .

Birth plan--Will still bring one just in case. It could probably stand to be a lot shorter.

Brownies for nurses--This was a suggestion by the Hypnobabies people, and I think it's a good one. If you don't want to spend a few minutes doing a brownie mix before going to the hospital, just grabbing something yummy you've set aside from Costco is still a nice gesture, I think.

Swim suit--BAH HAHAH HAHAHAHA. Biggest laugh of all. Don't ask how that ended up on the list. Maybe it was a side-effect of watching so many videos where the moms labored in birth pools while wearing sports bras or swimsuit tops because, you know, they were being filmed. But seriously, I think a fun thing to do would be to suggest that a laboring woman stuff herself into a swimsuit. And maybe turn a few cartwheels while she's at it. You'll likely hear some new swears and maybe suffer death.

Anybody else have any 2nd-time around wisdom to add?

Update #4: Passport

Remember the tax return and me trying to get a passport? Despite the best (read: worst) efforts of the people at Sam's Club's photo department, I did get it. See how pretty?

Picture inside? Not so pretty.

And then, miracle of miracles, the stars (and the ticket prices, and the childcare options) aligned enough for us to use them.

I'm going to LONDON!!!

 

LondonLondonLondonLondon!!!

(Like, the REAL one, not one of the fake ones in Ohio or Texas. The actual actual London. With the Queen and English chocolate and cheeses and Benedict Cumberbatch.)

GH and I leave in September, the day after my 35th birthday. (Also, 35? Seriously? How did that even happen??? Well, there's no better place to celebrate turning the age of Olde than in London, I'm sure.) My mother, who shall be counted among the angels, is coming down to Utah in September to visit the forthcoming heir of Coolboy and his wife. I caught her in a weak moment and she agreed to extend her trip and stay at my house to watch Loki and the Dark Lord for a week.

She is the best, all glory be upon her.

This trip is basically all I eat, sleep, and breathe at the moment. I've created the Google Doc Budget Spreadsheet and the Google Doc England Itinerary. I spent days looking at apartments on Roomorama. My Pinterest boards are going crazy with walking tours and yarn stores and food markets, oh my!

GH, who is (understatement) a Beatles fan, is the reason we are spending a couple days in Liverpool.

It's been fun researching a city I don't know and figuring out all the fun things to do there. Including, of course, a guided Beatles tour.

Also? The thought of a 10-hour transatlantic flight without children seems like the very height of decadent living to me. I will be able to read! Or knit! Or knit while---sorry, whilst reading! I can eat foods while they are still warm! I can take naps! Nobody will talk to me or ask me things! I will (let's hope) not get other people's pee or poop or vomit or milk on my clothes! And just to add to the awesome, I booked with British Airways, like I'm Kate Winslet or someone.

I am so, so, so excited. 

Aw yeah. Pretty much the same thing as a day spa.

Beautiful Beautiful Spring

I'm thinking the spring, she has sprung.

Today was glorious and lovely, and I walked into town wearing my Chacos and it was heavenly. Only then it turned out that my winter feet weren't quite ready to be walking 4 miles in my Chacos, so right now they're needing some TLC. But they've also got to understand that they're about to get a week of this, so they'd best shape up. That's what I told them, anyway, as I hobbled the last few yards to my house.

The sun was out and the weather was warm and I swear to you people were beaming for no reason. And around here that's saying something. It's like we all had this attitude of "Look everyone! It's sunny! It's just like living in a happy sunny place like in the films!" Even the sight of a 2-year-old-boy scampering about with a thick gold Mafia chain around his neck couldn't kill the buzz.

I just did my last few errands before my trip, and since I have to put all of this into my budget spreadsheet you get to see it too, you lucky things.

(deep breath)

• £2 - frozen chocolate eclairs for Ladeeez Night tonight, which, now that I think about, maybe I should taste first, on account of I'd hate to bring gross treats to Ladeeez Night
• £8 - 2 t-shirts, 1 black and 1 pink
• £18 - 25 Euros
• £3 - travel toiletries
• £3 - very pretty brown & pink bag for the carrying of beach supplies, which was just the excuse I needed to get the bag I've been eying for the last six months but kept putting down because even if it is only 3 quid do I really neeeeed a bag? (Amyjane, I don't wanna hear it from you.)
• £5 - 2 cheapo beach towels which will probably shred to pieces the second they get wet (one is for Goldilocks)

I was told by WR that it's very important to have a beach towel to put on the lounge chairs, otherwise the Germans will get to them first with theirs, and that some Germans will in fact get up around 4am to put their towels out on the lounge furniture and will then go back to bed, safe in the knowledge that they've won the latest round against the Brits. I guess there's some sort of British-German thing with the lounge chairs. And I'm meant to be on England's side apparently. Germany is the land of my birth, though, so I don't know if I'm totally cool with that.

But then, maybe striking a blow against Germans that I haven't even met yet in the name of a country that isn't mine it will heal me from my memories of BYU Devotionals. So many times I wanted to kick those flipping seat-savers' teeth in, because you just know their 12 stupid friends are never going to find them in a stadium of 20,000, and the Devotional is starting in 1 minute, and even though President Bateman has asked everyone to flipping move in to the center so that the people milling about in the aisles can sit down, they refuse to budge. And so I have to keep hiking all up and down the Marriott Center like a flipping Dahl sheep looking for a place to sit. A few times my irritation won out and I sat down in the saved seats anyway and just ignored the glares and huffs. Their friends never did show up, so it's not like it mattered.

Also, is anyone afraid yet of the old woman I will inevitably become?