Bit of fast-food culture for you

So I'm at WR's apartment and they've received a bunch of those flyer things from the nearby pizza places and burger places and Chinese places, as do you. I had a pretty good time flipping through and wanted to share some of the menu items with you so that you know what I'm up against in this crazy world.

Ahem.

First we have the burger places, which usually double as kebab shops or as fish & chip shops or pizza shops or maybe friend chicken places or perhaps a bit of all these things.

Beef or Lamb Burger
(Char grilled burger with lettuce, tomato, onion & corn relish)

Pepper and Mayo Burger
(With mayo & lots of freshly ground black pepper)

Garlic and Mayo Burger
(you get the idea)

Lamb Doner Kebab
(Specially minced lamb with herbs and spices)

Kofte Kebab
(Specially minced lamb with parsley, spices & garlic, char grilled on a skewer)

Then we move on to the pizza places, which have possibly my favorite selection. You've got your basic stuff like margherita and pepperoni and hawaiian, and then it all goes to Crazy Land. Do keep in mind that this is from a resteraunt labelled "American Pizza":

Tandoori Chicken
(Tandoori chicken, green chilli, onions, sweetcorn, peppers)

Indiana--Miss Hass, this one's for you since you live in Indiana and probably eat this all the time! Or, you know, possibly this is a play on "India".
(Hot base w/Tandoori chicken, chicken tikka w/green chilli, onions, pineapple, peppers, and sweetcorn)

Seafood
(Anchovy, prawns, tuna, cockles, sweetcorn, onions & peppers)

American Special--pay close attention to this one, folks
(Ham, garlic sausage, pepperoni, sweetcorn, mushrooms, onions & peppers)

Sweetcorn, for the love of heaven. Can any of you tell me when on this sweet green Earth of goodness we Americans have ever put such a thing as corn on our pizzas? That's right, the answer is NEVER. But they're crazy about sweetcorn over here and put it in everything--pizza, pasta, tuna sandwiches, absolutely everything.

But lest you think I live amongst a pack of crazies who need to be wiped out, let me tell you about the thing they do here that we really need to get behind. It's an appetizer in pretty much every Chinese restaraunt and it is amazing.

Crispy Aromatic Duck
(Deep-fried crispy duck, served with thin pancakes, shaved cucumber, spring onions and hoi sin sauce)

They bring all the ingredients to your table and you make little wraps and eat them while making indecent sounds. I've never seen this on a Chinese menu, but maybe I only live in podunk places and some of our more cosmopolitan friends in NYC or San Francisco have this all the time. Feel free to tell me if that's the case.

So there's Miss Nem's cultural comparison of the day, which is brought to you by the number 6 and the letters E & W.

Wherein I wax metaphorical

So there are these cherry trees on the way to campus, just near my house. And they seem to have become confused, because around the beginning of December they started blossoming. Now, perhaps this is wrong and an abomination against nature and its laws, but I don't care. When I was sick and dying during my Time of Illness and final projects and stress and Dickens Orphan Christmases as I trudged back and forth from campus, those darn blossoms were almost the only thing that could make me smile and feel okay about life.

If you want to use The Story of the Cherry Trees as an object lesson during a talk or whatever, you can feel free. Just be sure to mention me in it somewhere, and make sure it's not stupid. A few ideas for themes:

Beauty in the midst of ugliness
Promise of rebirth and Spring
The Jesus story
Trees with flowers are better than trees without
Sick people get wacked-out ideas

Coming down from the chocolate stupor

Yay, let's play the numbers game!

1--Traditional English Christmas dinner eaten, including turkey and vegetables and brussel sprouts and roasted potatoes and truckloads of gravy

1--English Christmas Puddings eaten

1--Queen's Christmas Speech viewed

0--Mention of Charles & Camilla's wedding during said speech

9--Time difference (in hours) between England and AK

1--Mobile phones accidentally left at home when I went over to spend Christmas w/WR's family

17--Times my family tried to get ahold of me on Christmas Day

4--Total hours spent in my own house during the holidays

2--Times my parents said, "You're dead to me!" when I finally called them

2--Turkey & brie sandwiches consumed from Christmas leftovers

1,379--Pieces of chocolate consumed, including the alcoholic kind and imported Reese's peanut butter cups

27--Hours of television watched, including the parts I slept through

2--Times it snowed, turning the rooftops all white and Dickenslike, and the countryside all English and pretty

0--Hours of homework done

It did feel somewhat strange and not-quite-like-Christmas to be away from my family. But I was very lucky in that lots and lots of people checked in to make sure that I had somewhere to go and wasn't going to end up alone in a cold empty house, overdosing on paracetemol. WR's family was very kind and made me feel at home (they even bought me presents!) and I didn't ever have time to get homesick. Plus I got to be with WR pretty much the whole time, which made me happy. So yeah, I'm a lucky girl.

I hope you all had wonderful Christmases too!

You love me! You really love me!

I just want everyone to know how much I have appreciated your Christmas cards and emails. You've kept me from feeling homesick! I created a shrine (complete with candles) with all the Christmas cards you've sent. So, you know, don't ever think, "Oh, I don't want to send Nem anything. She won't even appreciate it." Because I totally will! I don't even throw them away once Christmas is over, but keep them in a box because I just can't bear to throw anything away.

But I also appreciate good vibes/prayers/well wishes, just in case you're like me and had to cut down your Christmas card list this year.




Also, I think my little tree is the most beautiful thing in the world and I might just keep it up until March because I like it that much. It makes me think of happy things, as does the Christmas cd I'm listening to right now. It's the one I made last year--all the classics sung by Nat King Cole, Judy Garland, Bing Crosby, Dean Martin, and all those good folks.



So mommy, you don't need to worry about me being a Dickens orphan trudging the streets with my crust of bread--I'm happy and well and very blessed.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Good times never felt so good

So, this is what "well" feels like, then? It's taken so long to return to the Land of the Living that I'd almost forgotten what an absolutely fabulous place that land can be.

So here are the things that have me feeling great:

1. I can pretty much smell again. (Sad part--I can now smell myself and my bedroom, aaaaannnnd . . . it's not pretty, folks. )

2. I can taste my food! Yipee! Tasting food is pretty much favorite thing and now I can do it again, just in time for Christmas and all the gastronomic delights that await me! (Yes, Dad, I do realize that I'm in England. But this is a glass-full kind of a post.)

3. I can breathe! Breathing is my favorite, too!

4. I'm not feeding Lady J's cat anymore! Although I'm so blissed out now that I don't even mind that string of meows she does when she's calling forth the Minions of Hades. I can actually find it kinda cute now.

5. It's almost Christmas! And I don't have to be even a tiny bit sad about not being with my family, because I'm going to see them in two weeks--so I can just enjoy my English Christmas and love the people I'm with and watch the Queen on the telly.

6. The computer labs on campus have shut for Christmas and so now I don't have to do any more Quark Xpress homework! (It must be pointed out here that for the past few days the labs have been open but there have been workmen in there replacing the ventilation system, which doesn't actually create the best work environment. My favorite part was today when one of their cell phones went off. Rather than ringing it played an audio clip about a bank robbery where a woman yells the f-work about 6 times. Clas-sy.)

7. I only have a few things to pick up in the morning, and then my Christmas shopping is done.

8. I'm taking the darling and long-suffering WR to dinner tomorrow. This is my idea to celebrate 1) me not being a cranky sick exhausted stressed-out hormonal beast anymore, 2) me having some "play money" left in my budget, and 3) the two-month anniversary of our First Date.

I think life would be better if we all had more anniversaries--not the kind people get in trouble for forgetting, necessarily, but more like the kind you can make up on the spot as an excuse to use the nice glasses. (Examples: The Anniversary of When I Bought My Car, or The Anniversary of When I Got that Mole Removed.)

Quick note to the gentlemen out there: You could get soooo many points if you were to go back and figure out some anniversaries and use them as a reason for doing something nice. Girls just love that stuff. Please only do that for someone you are actually dating, as opposed to pretend dating. No girl wants Leonard the Scary Office Guy who Doesn't Wash His Hand to hand her a crimson rose with a note that reads, "This is the anniversary of the day I met you. I went home that day and carved your name into my chest with a crochet hook. My mom cauterized the wound and then we braided each other's hair."

Seriously, don't do that. Just--don't.

9. I might be going to Paris for New Year's Eve!!!

10. Paris, baby!

Wherein I begin the path to recovery

So, lest there be a few people in the backwoods of Nepal who haven't heard yet, I'm sick.

Only now I'm going to be getting better, on account of my aforementioned BFF, even Dr. N of the Student Health Clinic.

I went to see him on Monday at the urging of my family, my friends, and my own wish to find out if I have a chance at life or if I should start asking sweet sweet death to just get it over with and take me.

I waited for exactly 2 seconds in the waiting area, reading the many posters about meningitis and safe sex that they have up on the walls, and a beautifully Asian-accented male voice called my name. And thus it began. He invited me to sit down and tell him about my symptoms and everything, which I was happy to do.

Dr N: "So does your face hurt right now?"

Me: "Yeah, kinda, but I'm on, like, tons of drugs, so . . . "

DN: (presses his fingers on my forehead) "Does this hurt?"

Me: "Yep." (Partly because you're pressing against a zit, but hey, whatever. Pain is pain. Give me the drugs now.)

DN: "So you are congested. And is there discharge at all from your nose?"

Me: "OOOHHHH Yeah. Lots of it." (I didn't tell him the part where I think I've moved past my sinuses and am now expelling actual pieces of brain.)

We did Q&A for a bit longer, and then he agreed with me that I have an infection, and told me to take Amoxicillin and do the Vicks Vapo-Rub steam thing and take whatever pain-killers I want (heee . . . ).

So then he was tapping the notes into my file.

DN: "Now, you're on the Pill."

Me: "Uh huh."

DN: "This interferes, so for two weeks you need to use a condom instead or tell him to keep away from you."

Me: (in my head): "Hmnah heh? Who? Wait, I have to stop taking Yasmin? But I NEED her! I turn into a zit-face without her, and what the heck am I gonna do with condoms???"

Me: (blinking violently) k-kay.

Dn: So, do you have any other questions?

Me: "Um, I think I got it. But, um, I have to stop taking the pill for two weeks then? Because I'm not actually using it for birth control--it's for hormone/acne stuff."

DN: "Oh, you're not? Then no no no, you can take it. It's just that the antibiotics make it less effective as birth control. But if you're not using it for that then go ahead."

Me: "Okay, good. Because see, I was kind of sad thinking I was going to have to be all zit-faced. Cuz, I mean, I'm already sick."

DN: (laughing in the dear benevolent way he has) "No, no, I would not do that to you."

Then we said goodbye, and when I said thank you I sort of had to stop myself from throwing my arms around him and sobbing.

I just might make it

I promise there's a post in the works and it will feature my new BFF, even Dr. N. 'Twas he who gave me the antibiotics for the sinusitis (good call, Julie!).

Just wanted y'all to know I'm not dead yet and I might pull through!

England and I are fighting

That's right, it's come to this. I never wanted it to happen, but right now we are not friends. I will tell you why, but first I would like to share a little timetable. (I'm still sick, by the way.)

11:30pm last night: went to bed

11:30-12:29 couldn't breathe

12:30 finally fell asleep with open mouth and head propped up at 90 degree angle from body

2:00ish woke up having odd form of hot flash (that or the gremlins spilled a glass of water on my chest)

2:15 fell back asleep

6:30 woke up with open mouth and tongue covered in dust and concrete. Staggered to bathroom to get drink of water. Landlady J's cat (who I am feeding while she's away this week) sensed from outside that I was up from the second I pulled back my duvet and immediately took up her post outside the front door and began meowing. I swear she's been doing this all week. If I let her in, she claws at things and begs for food. If I put her out, she scratches at the doors (both front and back) and sets up this incessant wailing to be let back in. I have never in my life been so close to wishing (and being willing to be the cause of) actual bodily harm on an animal. I mean, hello, I am an Animal Lover!!! She's doing it right now. "Meow? Meow? Meow?" If I were the neighbors I would throw beer bottles at her--or possibly a refrigerator.

6:30: took lots of Ibuprofin in the hopes that my face would stop hurting. Quite possibly my sinuses have enough pressure to do . . . something pressureful. I dunno. Shoot a cannon or whatever.

6:45 couldn't fall back asleep

6:50 still no sleepy

6:55 nope

7:00 not gonna happen

7:05 turned computer on and looked up Student Health Center info, making note to call for an appointment Monday morning if I don't feel better.

7:10 noticed my mom was on Skype, so called her so that she could say comforting things to me

8:00 went downstairs because my face hurt real bad. Remembered that my Landlady had mentioned having some of those flu relief drinks in the house. Proceeded to tear apart kitchen looking for them in the hope that they might contain decongestant.

8:07 found them--available flavors are blackcurrant and lemon--and a jar of possibly expired and odorless Vicks Vabo-Rub.

8:10 took sip of hot lemon drink. Gagged uncontrollably, as it was The Absolute Worst Thing I have ever tasted. It rivaled Tahitian Noni, people.

8:15 need for decongestant outweighed need to not gag, so plugged nose and downed the mug. Did Shudder/Gag Dance in the kitchen. Now, tell me, England. WHY on this green EARTH would you ever want someone to experience something like that? Why??? Do you have something against pills? Do you have something against me??? What??

9:00 took long, hot, steaming shower, which felt absolutely marvelous. I breathed through my nose for the first time in days. Never wanted to get out.

9:25 applied Victoria Secret's Love Spell lotion to my legs. Realized I wasn't smelling the lotion. Took lid off the bottle, stuck nose in and inhaled deeply: nothing. I have absolutely no sense of smell. I couldn't even smell Vicks Vaporub.

Now, here's the trick: If my sense of smell is gone, then my sense of taste is severely limited as well. And if that lemon drink had the power to make someone with no sense of taste do the Shudder Gag Dance Handshake in the kitchen, then what does it taste like normally? Am now convinced that this is some twisted example of the Stiff Upper Lip/Mustn't Grumble complex.

And if you ever catch me touching that hot drink powder again it will be because all the other drugs are gone and I'm cutting lines of it to snort.

So remember how I was better?

Yeah. Scratch that.

Because not only am I not better, I am now probably certifiably dying and there's nothing that anyone can do about it. The one bright side was that WR did come over the other night and bring me bread and a roasted chicken so that I wouldn't starve to death. Because carving is for sissies who aren't sick and/or hungry, we ate the bird at my coffee table. I used a fork and my bare hands. For a second I feared WR might not think I was being ladylike, since he was using a knife and fork. But then he pointed out that he was eating straight off the carcass with a knife and fork, whereas I was using a plate, so we were probably even. Whew.

Anyway, yes. I am dying. My sense of humor is dying with me--it's now on its last stubby hind leg. I spent all of yesterday (when I wasn't sleeping and groaning for sweeth Death to come take me) parked in the sitting room, working on the website that's due on Friday.

Here are my plans for today:

• Keep working on the website
• Shower, possibly, if I can even remember how that works and if I have the strength to climb the stairs to the bathroom.
• Buy more cold medicine because I'm down to my last dose. Also I think British cold medicine is worthless. A curse upon you and your children, British cold medicine!!!
• Take more ibuprofin.
• Take more paracetamol, which is what the crazy Brits call acetaminophen. Also they seem to be a LOT more worried that people are going to overdose on the stuff here. There are warnings all over the packaging. Maybe in the US we figure that if someone is stupid enough to OD on Tylenol then good riddance.
• Brush my teeth, if I can find my toothbrush.
• Put on clean clothes rather than the pajamas I've been wearing for days.
• Burn the pajamas I've been wearing for days.
• Drink hot chocolate. Pretend I can taste it.
• Write that 2,0000-word essay that I still haven't written.
• Buy actual tissues, since the 2 rolls of toilet paper I've been using have worn my nose down to a grotesque red nub, much like the nose of a long-term cocaine user.
• Regrow the skin on the toes of my right foot, since I scraped it all off when I stumbled into the kitchen table this morning. I couldn't even get up the energy for the Dance of the Stubbed Toes. It was more like the Dance of the Pained Manatee.
• Consider doing dishes from three days ago. Don't hold your breath on that one.

Ibe too sexy for by shird

So I'm still sick, even though I feel a tiny bit better. Only my cold has progressed to my nose, which is never a good thing. And now I sound like a chain-smoking transexual who sings bass.

I did, though, turn in the two pieces of work that were due today. Rejoice with me! And now I'm working on a 2,000 word essay about the history of women in librarianship (Alternate title: "How The Man is keeping us down!"). This would have been a piece of cake back when I was an undergrad and in the habit of churning out essays, but now I am all rusty an' junk.

Then sweet WR is coming over to take care of me and look over the website I have to finish by Friday, becase he is lovely. I am, of course, v. excited to see WR and to have attention and orange juice and Christmas movies, but I'm not sure how much he will enjoy his evening with a sickly mouth-breather. I can just see it now:

Me, trying to look alluring: "So . . . coughhackcough . . . wadda cub over an' sit odd byy side of the couch?"

WR: "Um, do you need some tissues? Here, let me go get some."

Me: "Doe, doe, stay here! I'b fide!"

Then I will lean in to kiss him, and he will pull back, alarmed.

WR: "Errrrrr. . . can't we just just, like, cuddle?"

Me: "Whad! Are you sayig you don' want subba this?" coughhackchokecoughsniffffle

WR: "Ah . . . not at the moment, no."

Oh yeah.

Ibe too sexy.

I've got some bad news and some good news

The Bad News
The bad news is that I am sick. You might think it is just a common cold, but you would be wrong. I look like a lukewarm pile of death, I SOUND like a chain-smoking transexual, and when I cough it feels as though tiny Gremlin armies are scampering around in my throat with pick-axes.

I want to die.

What makes this really bad is that this is the final week before the Christmas vacation, and so I have 2 projects due tomorrow and another 2 due on Friday. Only I sort of don't even want to get out of bed, much less haul my sick self up the hill to the computer lab where my work is saved. So there you have it. Now I will for sure flunk out of school. It's a pity, really.

The Good News
The good news is that I get to go home and see The Precious!!!!!!! (I mean, unless I die of consumption first.)

My department decided to push back the first day of lectures, so I ended up with an extra week of Christmas vacation in January, right after Savvymom has her baby and when my parents are flying down to Utah to visit them. So I checked online and found out that I could get a ticket home. It's still going to cost an absolute fortune that I wasn't planning to spend, but I'm using my Christmas money and some Skymiles and some student loan and there you have it.

When I first realized it was a possibility I called Mom and Dad to see what they thought, and then I called Savvymom.

Me: Hey, I need to ask you something important.

SM: Okay . . .

Me: Right. So, you know how my school was supposed to start back up on the 9th? Well now they're saying they don't want to see us until the 16th, so I was thinking-----

SM: YES YES YOU CAN COME!!

So there you have it. It will be like a second Christmas celebration, but with a newborn and a drugged-up Savvymom and a stressed-out toddler and a whole lotta people crammed in one tiny apartment.

Fa-la-la-la-laaaa, la-la-la-coughchokehackcough

Yes, I do realize . . .

. . . that everyone and their mom have done this little quiz guy already, and that it's so over and everything. But I have to spend the whole day in the computer lab working on my coursework (including designing a website) and I just can't afford to lose my remaining brain cells trying to be clever here.

So here you go. It's that Google Search For "Your Name + Needs" thing that everyone is doing.

Ahem.

Nemesis needs to improve.
(Um, your mom needs to improve . . . )

Nemesis needs a clean up.
(Can't argue with you there)

Nemesis needs a full director's cut.
(Hmmm . . . would it be artistic or just trashy?)

Nemesis needs love, and some baked goods.
(Yes! Yes I do! Sob . . . )

Nemesis needs better bridge protection.
(Tell me about it. I suck at bridge.)

Nemesis needs a damn good kick in her karmic pants
(Oh, I dare you.)

Nemesis needs a new dress.
(That would be nice, actually.)

Nemesis needs more sleep.
(I know!! Sob . . . )

Nemesis needs a little help in the internal multiplier department.
(Okay . . . whatever that means, sure.)

Nemesis needs to have hundreds of cannon fodder henchmen for Frank to wade
through. Body count needs to be extremely high.
(Yes. Yes it does. So, you know, get on that.)

Nemesis needs some late game enhancements.
(Okay, see, my game is just fine. So you'd best shut your mouth.)

Nemesis needs to lay off the sauce.
(Seriously, do you wanna fight me????)

Nemesis needs to be the height of aristocratic decadence.
(Chuh, I'm halfway there, baby!)

Yay for Christmas presents!

I'm sorry this will be so short. As previously mentioned, I'm carrying on this intense day-in-day-out relationship with my departments's computer lab this week (and next). Lucky for me, WR isn't jealous. Also I suspect he might be having a little sump'n sump'n on the side with his own coursework, that cheater.

But yes, back to presents! My mom's Christmas package arrived this morning! It came just as I was rushing out the door, and I was tempted to just chuck class and stay home opening things, but remembered that I am a Mature Adult and must make Mature Adult Decisions. Also Mom warned me that some of the things in it are for opening now and others are for Christmas morning, and although everything is labeled, it's not all wrapped. So I'm going to have WR open it for me so that I don't see things I'm not supposed to.

Note: This is the part where my entire stinking family will rush to log on and comment that they don't know why I'm even bothering, since I open my presents every year anyway. They say this because they are freaks who can't remember things correctly, also because they can't frigging let things go. One time, one time I opened my presents early, and that's only because the babysitter let me. I was 10, and I fully expected to be told No. But when you're a kid you have to keep pushing--it's just the rule. So when she said, "Okay, fine. Just don't bother me and be sure to tape them back up," I was kind of taken aback. Because she wasn't actually supposed to say that. Only she did, and so I had to open them.

That was the worst Christmas ever, because it's no fun to open a present you've already opened once before. So I've never done that again. And even if I joke about wanting to open presents early, and even if I beg you to let me open presents early, and even if I put a steak knife to your throat and demand my presents, don't give in. I'm just testing the limits, which is what children and adolescents (and those who really should be past this stage by now) do. And if you give in, then you will be harming my emotional and social development. You don't want that on your head now, do you??? Also, I'm going to have maybe 2 things to unwrap this year. No way am I going to ruin the 3.5 minutes of gift-opening that I have scheduled.

So Mom, you can rest easy. I will not be peeking this year. Not that I peek on other years, but still. And thank you for spending a goshawful amount on postage to send me my Christmas stocking! I love you!

Will you SHUT your stupid mouth face dumb piece of stupid UP!!!!

Seriously, there needs to be a special weapons permit that allows me to carry a taser and just zap the living crubbish out of people who won't shut their fool heads up in the computer lab.

Right now my ire and wrath and anger and irritation are directed at one group of lab-talkers in particular. For a second I was worried that maybe I had become a racist, on account of the group I was mad at is from a different ethnicity than my own. Only I don't think I was mad at them for being of a different ethnicity--I was mad at them for being loud potty-mouthed freaks who wouldn't shut the heck up while I was trying to work.

For those of you who don't know (so pretty much all of you) this is the beginning of the insane cruch time, which will end on December 16th when my last project before Christmas break is turned in. These guys were working on one of the same projects that I was. We have to create a classification scheme/taxonomy/heirarchical structure thingie to do with algae, because the instructors figured we wouldn't know anything about algae (they would be right, there) and would have to look everything up. I just barely finished mine, and these guys had just started. Only they were very, very frustrated about it.

"****ing algae, why the **** does algicides go ****ing after ****ing pesticides, ****? And what about the ******* herbicides then?"
"At's cos ******* herbicides is a kind of pesticide, innit!"
"Herbs ain't pests, you stupid ****! So is it a ******* algicide or a ******* herbicide?"
"Yeah yeah, only oi fink you put herbicides under pesticides."
"This **** is ******, man."

So remember that part where I used to think English accents sounded so cultured? I take it back. These guys and chavs have ruined if for me forever. This went on for a while, and then their girlfriends (who were all dressed alike) showed up and added to the general din, while I prayed for sweet sweet death.

They're gone now, thank the dewey heavens above. And when they come back, I'll be ready.

Deck the halls with boughs of sobbing

So I bought a tree today.

Go me.

I got it at Woolworths, and it's 90 inches high and cost 4 quid. I carried it the 1.6 miles to my house in a huge shopping bag. I set it up on my nightstand in front of my bedroom window, so the neighbors will see that I have the Spirit of Christmas. I've put a cream-colored fleece throw from IKEA under it, and I have a box of 100 clear lights (4 quid, because they like to shaft you on lights over here) to put on. I also bought some of that pretty silver star twisty stuff at IKEA, and maybe I'll make some paper snowflakes for decoration.

I think it will be quite presentable.

Only I sort of want to crawl into bed and start bawling and maybe never come out until Christmas is over and done with.

I wish I could blame this on hormones like Savvymom could, but my good friend Yasmin actually regulates those for me, so no go there. What it comes down to is that even though I am a big grown-up independent woman of 26, this will be my first Christmas without my family. I know that there's a first time for everyone, but I didn't realize it would hit me so hard. I had really good reasons when I decided that Christmas wasn't a good time to fly home, but now I'm having a hard time remembering what they were.

So here are the things I'll miss:

1. Having a real Christmas tree--the kind that smells. (Of course, if it's an Alaskan Christmas tree then it was already frozen and dead before it entered the house, so by the day of Christmas you're pretty much wading through pine needles.)
2. My parents' dog Gabby. Because dogs are great, see? They got her when I was in college, but she remembers me every year and sleeps in my bed.
3. Fires in the fireplace.
4. The Alabama Christmas album. I have no idea why it is part of our Christmas tradition since we don't actually like Alabama or country music, but it just is.
5. Watching all the classic Christmas movies like It's A Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, and The Muppet Christmas Carol.
6. The Christmas Luau. This became a tradition after my parents started going to Hawaii. Mom makes Kahlua pork and Maui onion chicken and roasts fresh pineapple and we crank up the thermostat and put on leis and shell necklaces and lava lavas and listen to Hawaiian music while there are 4 feet of snow outside.
7. Watching Pride and Prejudice (or Horatio Hornblower if we're feeling swashbuckly) while munching off a 2-lb wheel of brie from Costco.
8. Christmas Eve Dinner: prime rib, horseradish sauce, Alaska king crab, stuffed mushrooms, rolls, Schwepps Raspberry Ginger Ale, cheeseball, the good china which I am inheriting . . .
9. Reading The Best Christmas Pageant Ever as a family. Almost wetting pants. Waiting to see when Savvymom would wet hers.
10. Reading the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas Eve.
11. Christmas day gumbo.
12. My parents, my brothers and sisters, and my niece and soon-t0-join-us nephew.

So, um, it seems like maybe a lot of my family traditions revolve around food. Huh. I really shouldn't be throwing myself a pity party here, though. I am a lucky, lucky girl. Here are some things about Christmas that will be great:

1. I have a tree.
2. I have been invited over for Christmas dinner by WR's family, who are very nice and welcoming. I also have the wonderful WR to spend Christmas with.
3. My mommy is sending me a stocking full of goodies.
4. My dad sent me a card with English pounds in it so that I can get something nice for Christmas. Am not going to think about how much I lost during the exchange from dollars to pounds.
5. I have Jif peanut butter.
6. I know where to get canned pumpkin so that I can make pumpkin pie.
7. I have Skype, so I can wake up early Christmas morning (my time) and talk to my family on Christmas Eve (their time). Maybe they'll even let me listen in on the reading.
8. I'm in England! That has to count for something. I mean, if you're going to be away from your family it's better to do it in England than in Kansas or some place like unto it.

So there you go. I have an embarassment of riches and now I'm going to go put lights on the tree.